The Love Dog News

 

Knowing When To Retreat

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"In Impossible Darkness

Do you know how the caterpillar turns?
Do you remember what happens inside a cocoon?
You liquefy.

There in the thick black of your self spun womb
Void as the moon before waxing

You melt
(As Christ did for three days in the tomb)

conceiving
in Impossible Darkness
the sheer inevitability of wings."


- Kim Rosen -
 

 

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Dear sweet souls,

I don't know about you, but WOW summer is coming to a close and I still haven't really taken a vacation. We did get to enjoy a week in May in Wisconsin with family and will be attending a dear friend's 60th birthday party in the Grand Canyon at the end of September, but still, a summer Vacation??? A respite??? A time out???

I have certainly learned this idea, that is now deeply ingrained within me, that what matters most is what I DO, not how I BE. As children, we were taught, you can't play until all the chores and the homework is done. Your value is determined solely by your accomplishments. No wonder my own "to do list" could cover a tri-state area and my capacity to just "be" is still relatively limited. Perhaps this is also true of you.

Even at this "advanced "age of 61, there are still times my inner life looks like a greyhound at the starting gate of a race - protruding my chin and my whole being towards another goal - adrenalin running through my arms and legs, thrusting myself at full speed towards the future. Whew, this greyhound is getting tired and I'm not really sure I want to go to the next race. Perhaps I'd like to take a nap or hang out with my buds on the sidelines, maybe I don't even care if someone else gets the trophy.

Who would I be if I took a few hours or weeks or even a month to pause and hang out in the dugout before returning to the game renewed and refreshed? Who would I be if I didn't try so very hard to win the race?

Who would I be if I considered the possibility that I have taken breaks and I've survived AND even thrived all these years of my life? When I look back over 30 years of my career, I see that there were many times I have retreated, even for significant periods of time. We once took a 6 month sabbatical when we completed our work in Seattle and then in Denver after 5 years of intense teaching and training, we took a 3 month pause. Finally, when we moved from Denver to Santa Fe, we took an entire year OFF. These major pauses, as well as the regular pauses for massage or yoga or my own coaching, have been reviving me as I go. So, PAUSING has been a wonderful part of being alive and present in my work and life, though my poor mind and patterns have trouble remembering that.

Sometimes I am so busy riding on the treadmill that I don't hop off and ask myself, "do I want to be on this treadmill?' "Do I need to be moving this fast?" "Do I really want my life's trajectory to be about how much I've accomplished?

How about a rest - a pause - a stepping away from the daily grind? What would it be like if I took a breath and just remembered the me that lives behind all my roles? What would it be like if I said I wanted to pause and touch base and hearts with those who are part of my inner circle - family and friends that really matter to me? Who are those people, (and usually this is a small number of people), who are there for me when I am on "top of my game" and who are there when I am spending time on my butt or my knees?

Do I even know how to "be there" for me when I am not performing at my highest level? Could I find a place in my heart to love this one who wants a rest, a respite, a retreat?

So that's what's happening right now for the soul coach from Santa Fe. The husband is off for a 3 day retreat at a men's conference, and I am just hanging, just wondering about all the possibility that exists in this empty place. I'm not that used to "emptiness" but I do feel open to its invitation.

I have also decided that I'm working hard enough - seeing enough clients and taking in enough poetry - that I should really rest. Hmmm. We'll see what happens. This "enough" word is new - can I really decide what "enough" is or is it arbitrary and decided by the parents, authorities, outside of me?

Just now I notice that there is a humming bird sitting on the feeder out the office window, a grey squirrel and a few doves feeding at the large patio feeder. The new deck has a broken monk with a colorful scarf on his head sitting below the rock garden. Our golden lab is snoozing at my side

Maybe my life is a meditation, not a race... How about your life?

Here is a wonderful break that you might want to join us for. Soon, October 8th and 9th, Kim Rosen, author of Saved by a Poem is coming to Santa Fe at my invitation - perhaps resting now will allow me to prepare for the event more than the "pedal to the metal" approach I often take. By the way, I am attaching a flyer, in case this "happening" appeals to you. I'd love to share it with you, but either way, you are good enough and I respect your own knowingness about what is right on your Path right now, this very moment...

Please ask yourself - do I need some kind of retreat or vacation? If the answer is YES, please stop to consider is it a time out from work, is it a time away from everyone so I can return to my Truest self? When I review my day and my schedule -- where are the places I can take time outs that really replenish me. What is it that really replenishes me? Can I really bring my "best self to the table" when I am tired, stressed and cannot find my own inner connection? Your BEING is asking you to step away, even if it's only for a few hours, from your DOING... Can you hear its call?

You are dearly and deeply loved,

Patricia

P.S. As a result of writing this newsletter, prior to its publication, we've just taken a 4 day timeout in Taos. What a delicious, adventurous sweet time it was. We ate at new restaurants, hiked, swam, went to the movies and took naps. Today, as I return to work, I am very present and I can SEE each client more clearly. Taking time for me is a gift to me and all those I touch.

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If you enjoy this newsletter, and would like to receive future issues, please go to the web site at www.becomingalovedog.com to sign up. When you subscribe, you will receive a FREE copy of The Vehicle of Self Compassion, a chapter from Patricia's book, Becoming a Love Dog. This is a dynamic system of self-management Patricia uses and teaches.

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Tune in to a podcast of Patricia being interviewed by Joanna Harcourt-Smith, dated July 4, 2009, on www.futureprimitive.org. Listen to this fascinating discussion of Becoming a Love Dog: From Emptiness to Tenderness. Then take some time to listen to some of the many other fascinating interviews in the Future Primitive archives.

 

 

 

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